Recently, a good friend approached me and asked if I would accept a guest on this blog. This is something I would not do lightly. But Colonel Paul Longgrear, US Army retired, is a man who shares my heart for the fathers of this age.

Paul is a true American hero and I recently had the honor of attending his induction into the Army Ranger Hall of Fame. His story is an extraordinary one and one Google search will show you why I enthusiastically said yes to Colonel Paul’s inquiry.

Please read his words and insights closely. He is a man I have personally learned a great deal from.

En servicio como Padre

Dave

MEDIOCRITY – Paul Longgrear

Years ago our family lived in a county with two school systems. The two high schools were only four or five hundred yards apart and from the start were arch rivals even though one was only nine years old.

The older school dominated the younger school all nine times they played in football. The old school played for the state championship three times and won one of them. At one point they racked up a 29-1 record and won seven region titles. They excelled at football and the newer school was only mediocre.

In spiritual parlance we might consider the word coined by Jesus, “lukewarm”. If one is not going to do his best at something, he might want to not attempt it in the first place. Does this mean mediocrity is bad? Is striving for excellence always good?

If one has to revert to the flesh to achieve excellence; excellence would probably be bad.

Is it better to be a sluggard or turn to sin to win?

Behavioral performance can be based on genetic influence or it can be learned through environment. If a man is born into a family of over achievers, he will be influenced just by being a member of that family. On the other hand if that same person is born into a family of under motivated members he again will be influenced by that environment. He may flow with the character of the family or he may defy the norm and be just the opposite in either case he is influenced by that environment.

Whatever the influence or cause, excellence is refusing to settle for less that one’s best. Mediocrity, on the other hand, is settling for the minimum that will suffice. “If the deadline is 3:00 P.M. why get it completed earlier”, the sluggard might ask.

When I decided to leave my home state of Arkansas to seek my fortune, I followed Horace Greely’s advice and went west to California. Within a matter of days I had a job at a large Los Angeles area lumber yard. Because I had a couple of years of college, the boss put me in charge of the stall that contained small lumber and ply wood.

He assured me it was a mess and challenged me to try and get it straightened out within a couple of weeks, if possible. I had two summers of experience in the lumber yard business and within three days had everything in order. Why did I do that? My mother raised me to work hard and she was the hardest working person I knew. Hard work was not an option in our family, it was the expected.

My wife and I raised three children who were all very good workers and have done very well for themselves. I was always a poor performing student because I was academically lazy. As a result, I was determined my children wouldn’t be.

Our oldest child was diagnosed with dyslexia at a young age, the second child never had to crack a book in school and the third labored to meet his, self-imposed, classroom goals. I am honored to say that all three are college graduates and one has a doctorate in education. The one with the learning disability was assured that she was as smart as her brothers and the same results would be expected of her.

Which of them do you think has the doctor’s degree? The laborer, he refused to be mediocre.

We had the same standards for each of them; do your best! I learned as a child that too much pressure to perform could cause a student to cheat. Life taught me, excellence can never be achieved by lowering moral standards.

There are no shortcuts to excellence. Diligence and determination mixed with perseverance are the ingredients necessary to fulfill what God has placed in all of us. It should also be noted that talent will not assure excellence. If very talented people accept less than their best for themselves, they are mediocre.

Remember the schools we mentioned at first. The difference was attitude. When the two schools walked on the football field it was obvious which team thought they would win and which team only hoped they would win. The coaches convinced the first team they were going to win every game because they were prepared to win through work and preparation. During the week they practiced smart, hard and long.

Leadership is the key to creating an environment of excellence and overcoming mediocrity. Whether one is a manager, a coach, the parents of children, or commander of a military unit, leadership is the key.

Leadership is nothing more than motivating someone to do what they are supposed to do. How well they do it is determined by how motivated they are.

There are only two ways to motivate; inspiration or intimidation. Think about by which of these ways you are motivated. Now think about how you motivate those around you.

We will discuss this in the near future.

Although the bible clearly states, in Matthew 16:19, “Whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven.”. There is a difference in how we see ourselves on earth and how God sees us in the spirit.

When I was a very small child my oldest sister Fern, as I recall, brought home a cat. This cat was a grey brindle with four white feet and a very pink nose. Based on what she saw, my sister named this cute little kitten Pinky.

It was fully her intention for this little kitten to be her playmate. He was to cuddle with her, play dress up, help her make mud pies, have dinner engagements, all the things little girls do.

Unfortunately, deep in the DNA of little Pinky lay and 18 pound, six toed behemoth that had an uncontrollable urge to roam and dominate.
He undoubtedly had a very nasty disposition when it came to other cats, dogs, coyotes, snakes, and just about every other animal the Arizona desert presented him.

I remember well into my teens, Pinky would saunter off into the desert often for months at a time. He would return, sometimes six to eight months later wearing the scars and licking the wounds of his most recent campaign.

The name my sister gave this cat was Pinky, but God knew this cat as something altogether different.

As fathers, it is extremely important we know what is in our DNA. We must know of what we are made. We must define our life in such a way as to live and worship in alignment with how God made us.

Pinky’s life was in conflict with how my sister envisioned he would be. He was wild at heart, but somehow my sister came to accept that. She accepted him when he returned, nursed his wounds, cuddled with him, loved him, wept and prayed for him when he walked back off into his world.

One such day, Pinky, sauntered off into the Arizona desert and never returned. He was found not far from our home and was buried with great respect in our back yard pet cemetery.

If we expect to be the best father we can be, we can’t be like Pinky and wander off into a secret world away from our family and loved ones, but we must examine the callings we have in our spirit and ask God to help us use them for his Kingdom and to help us be a better father and husband.

We must earnestly seek God, that He might reveal to us the make up of our spiritual DNA and thus our true nature. I ask you to seek God to find out………. by what name does God know you?

En servicio como Padre
Dave

In the course of our discussion, my wife expressed something that pricked me deep in my soul. She said “monotony breeds familiarity.”

As I pondered this thought, the picture of these people came to mind. They seem to have a very limited view of the world, in many cases they have a negative view of people outside their general area, especially those from outside their geographical region.

The monotony of seeing everything the same way day in and day out has created a familiarity with the things around them that breeds distrust, even anger, with that which is different.

I am reminded of Saul in the book of I Samuel. In this story, Saul comes to a woman who has a familiar spirit in an attempt to get in touch with the prophet Samuel who died earlier.

Saul sunk deeper into disobedience with this action and it cost his life and that of his sons.

When confronted by Samuel with the question; “why have you disturbed me by bringing me up?” Saul’s response was interesting. “I am in great distress” Saul said. “The Philistines are fighting against me, and God has turned away from me. He no longer answers me, either by prophets of by dreams. So I have called on you to tell me what to do.” (I Samuel 28:15)

Saul was acting the same way and making the same choices for so long that he no longer was aware of how he was conducting his business. His life entered into a form of monotony. He came to the point that he could not make a decision for himself. When his prophets no longer could advise him and Samuel was dead, he turned to a familiar spirit to come up with answers.

Websters defines monotony as 1: tedious sameness 2: sameness of tone or sound. (m-w.com)

When we become so accustomed to the same things, actions, places, words, etc, life becomes tedious. If we don’t take reasonable action to change monotony, we become indifferent to the things around us. As a result of this indifference, we let our guard down and our enemies take advantage of us.

We don’t see it or hear it because of monotony. By the time it becomes apparent to us, we have no idea where to turn. This is where familiarity becomes our enemy.

We choose the comfort of familiarity and reject a new or different way of approaching our issues.

God created man in His image. (Gen 1:27) As such, He endowed us with all of His attributes, including the ability to create. Satan, on the other hand, was not created in the image of God. He doesn’t have the ability to create and must use what already exists, that which he is familiar with.

If the enemy can keep us tied up in familiarity, he can keep us from realizing the victorious life that God has created us to live.

Monotony breeds familiarity, and familiarity coaxes us into a life of inactivity and, ultimately, a sub-optimization of what God has created us to be.

Wake up! Break out of monotony before it is too late.

En servicio como padre
Dave

In an article by Rabbi Socks, the above quote resonated deep within me. Having grown up in a family of eight kids, we grew up with a measure of poverty. My father was the custodian at the county court house, and my mother a maid at a small motel. Together they scraped together enough money each month to keep us fed, clothes on our back, and a roof over our heads.

We were a family of little and we expected little.

As I grew into adulthood, I vowed I would never put my children in the same situation I grew up in and I pressed every button I could to get ahead.

With my success came the natural trappings of nice home, nice cars, all the things that show the world we are a successful family.

By all standards I was a successful, but not affluent provider for my family. My worth increased over the years with higher salaries, more expensive cars, and more expensive homes. Not able to purchase multiple homes I considered my worth to be less than many who lived a more lavish lifestyle than I. My measure of worth was shallow and weak but was shared by most people I worked with and around every day.

What I didn’t know was that this measure of success was not God’s measure. God looks at your heart and what He was seeing in my heart was not the heart of a successful father. What he was seeing was a heart of pride.

So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t. (Romans 12:4 The Message)

One day I went to work like any other, by the end of the day, I was going home having been laid off from my job. At 50 years of age, it was a terrifying circumstance. All the pride I had in my success did not help me at that moment. I was devastated and found no hope in the success I previously garnered.

At this time, God began to show me my pride and how it was hindering His ability to help me succeed. The words of Job explain the lesson, I would learn over the next nine months as I struggled to find another source of support for my family.

When things go badly, when affliction and suffering descend, God tells them where they’ve gone wrong, shows them how their pride has caused their trouble. He forces them to heed his warning, tells them they must repent of their bad life. If they obey and serve him, they’ll have a good, long life on easy street. But if they disobey, they’ll be cut down in their prime and never know the first thing about life. (Job 36:5 The Message)

As I look around me today, I see many young men who are moving down the same path I was on. They speak of all God has done for them, but what is obvious in their words is they are really saying “look at all I have accomplished”. The same spirits that lied to me about success, are lying to them today.

Although I try, only a few are willing to listen to my story. The message from our society and it’s measure of success is that this is a man who tried and failed.

God has fully restored me to my former level of success. The difference now, is that I am driven by a totally different measure. I now subscribe to the message hidden in Matthew 6:30: “If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.” (The Message)

Fathers, don’t worry about missing out on anything. If you learn to measure your success according to God’s metrics, you will find all your human concerns will be met and more.

En servicio como Padre

Dave

The story, about a young girl, Dorothy, and her small dog, Toto, who are thrust into a strange world through the fateful encounter with a Kansas tornado.

After arriving in “the Land of Oz”, Dorothy encounters many strange and unusual characters, some good and some evil.

It is a classic tale of good over evil, but woven throughout the story are lessons that should not be ignored by anyone, the least of which by us fathers.

Clearly, the primary embodiment of evil is the “Wicked Witch of the West”. A female characterization of Satan. The Wicked Witch oppresses and controls everyone in this wondrous land through her evil deeds and the help of her minions, the “Flying Monkeys”.

The purpose of this article, though, is not to focus on the wicked witch, but instead to call attention to several characters, Dorothy met in this magical land. The Scarecrow, the Tin Man, the Cowardly Lion, and the Wizard of Oz. These characters are in many ways quite simple, but in this simplicity, represent the failings of many fathers today.

When Dorothy and Toto meet the Scarecrow, they soon find that he, like them, is on his way to see the Wizard of Oz. In his case he is going to request the Wizard give him a brain. He believes he doesn’t have a brain because, among other things, he has been told he doesn’t have a brain. After all scarecrows are stuffed with straw, not brains. This belief is further supported by the bad decisions he has made along his journey to find the Wizard.

Like most of us, the Scarecrow has encountered the Wicked Witch and her minions and has been told he could never have a brain. He is unworthy of a brain. Sound familiar?

Later in the story, Dorothy encounters the Tin Man along the yellow brick road. When she and the Scarecrow find him, his joints are rusted and he is paralyzed and unable to help himself. It appears the Wicked Witch’s minions have doused him with water knowing he would rust.

How many times along your journey have you been doused with water. Without someone to “oil your joints”, you are soon paralyzed and of no use to anyone. Without the anointing of this oil, the oil of the Holy Spirit, you would slowly rust away, never having accomplished the purpose for which God created you.

In the case of the Tin Man, Dorothy and her friends find the oil and assist in getting him free again. The Tin Man explains his desire is to have a heart and he is on his way to see the Wizard in hopes he will give him one. Without a heart, he is just another hunk of metal without any purpose in life. He soon joins them on their journey

The third character, the Cowardly Lion, is encountered as Dorothy and her new friends pass through the forest. The Lion desperately tries to stand his ground but he is totally inept due to his fear of the potential outcome. He is easily overpowered by Dorothy’s small dog Toto.

The Lion breaks down in tears describing his lack of courage and explains that it has kept him from being the true king he is supposed to be.

Over the years I have encountered men who have been sub-optimized in their jobs, their marriages, their ministries, and worst of all in their role as a father. Lack of courage is the feet put to the spirit of fear. Fear has been the single greatest reason why the men of this present age have been unable to become the warriors and kings that God created them to be. The world tells them they will fail if they strike out or resist the enemy, so they don’t for fear of failure.

Eventually, the small group arrives at the Emerald City and are ushered into the presence of the Wizard. An impressive character with windows, and spires, smoke and mirrors. The very voice of the Wizard is enough to make the small group shake in their shoes. He tells them he is too busy to answer their requests and tells them to come back another day. As the group cowers trying to figure out what to do next, Toto, pulls back a curtain and exposes a man speaking into a microphone and pulling levers and pushing buttons.

I can’t help but think the Wizard represents the modern day church. What most people of this world see is just the outward manifestation of the work of men. It is not the infinitely more powerful God that we worship. The church is busy pulling levers, pushing buttons, and speaking into microphones in an attempt to fashion God into something that can impress the world.

Ultimately, the things that each of these characters seek they already posses. They just needed to accept them and put them to use. It isn’t that easy in the real world, or is it? If we accept Jesus as our personal savior, and submit to the leading of the Holy Spirit, our understanding of all these things will be opened to us and we will finally, like Dorothy and Toto find our way home. If we continue to put our trust in a God fashioned by the works of man, we will be lost in the Land of Oz constantly seeking that which can not help us.

En servicio como padre

Dave