Your Child a Mirror

A colleague was recently sharing how their relationship with their child has changed.  It seems their relationship was somewhat stormy and since this parent was single, there was a great deal of resentment expressed.  He did not know what to do about it but finally took it to prayer. 

In their prayer time, God revealed that every bit of anger and resentment expressed by their child was a direct reflection of the way they felt about themselves.  The child was being an emotional mirror to the parent.

Hard as it was to hear this revelation, it had to be manifold times harder to look inward and find what had to be changed.  It is much easier to look at your children and say they are rebelling, they are angry, they are having a difficult time, etc; but when we turn our thoughts inward we become much more vulnerable. 

II Corinthians 13:5 tell us to “Examine yourselves”…”Test yourselves”.  It is a good thing to recognize that we may be failing in some aspect of our lives.  Once we take that step, we can surely do something about it.  We can rest assured, others, including our children, have already examined us, and in most cases found something lacking. 

It is so tough because we, whether we want to admit it or not, we are emotionally crippled and are afraid of what we might find.  We don’t know how to begin, because we have never traveled down this road before.  Following is an excerpt from a sermon given in 1858 by C.H. Spurgeon, in this passage he directs his congregation to consider it as an author writing a book on traveling.

“Go right through yourselves.” As a traveller, if he has to write a book upon a country, is not content to go round its borders merely, but goes, as it were, from Dan to
Beersheba, right through the country. He climbs the hill top, where he bathes his forehead in the sunshine: he goes down into the deep valleys, where he can only see the blue sky like a strip between the lofty summits of the mountains. He is not content to gaze upon the broad river unless he trace it to the spring whence it rises. He will not be satisfied with viewing the products of the surface of the earth, but he must discover the minerals that lie within its bowels. Now, do the same with your heart. “Examine yourselves.” Go right through yourselves from the beginning to the end. Stand not only on the mountains of your public character, but go into the deep valleys of your private life. Be not content to sail on the broad river of your outward actions, but go follow back the narrow nil till you discover your secret motive. Look not only at your performance, which is but the product of the soil, but dig into your heart and examine the vital principle. “Examine yourselves.” This is a very big word—a word that needs thinking over; and I am afraid there be very few, if any of us, who ever come up to the full weight of this solemn exhortation—”Examine yourselves.”
(REV. C. H. Spurgeon, October 10, 1858, Music Hall, Royal Surrey Gardens)

As fathers we can learn so much from the actions of our children.  If we acknowledge the fact their words, and actions, are often a mere reflection of what they see in us, we can make changes in how we conduct our lives and improve our relationship immensely.  Don’t let pride or fear prevent you from starting this exercise.  As you begin to examine yourselves, look deep inside and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal in you the areas you need to change.  As these areas are brought to light, release them to God, for He is the one that can cause lasting change.  If you do, you can’t help but like the image you will see reflected in the mirror that is your child.

En servicio como padre



1 Response to “Your Child a Mirror”

  1. 1 Charles Arcario May 9, 2007 at 10:14 PM

    That is a great reminder! It is so easy to make believe that our bad habits as dads only effect us. The “do as I say, not as I do” approach stops working when your children reach a certain age. They start to speak and answer for themselves as they are tested in life. It is our job to be a better study guide for them by walking more like Christ.



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